Vacations That Went Completely Off the Rails

1. The Airbnb “Cabin” That Was Just a Shed

We booked a "cozy forest retreat" on Airbnb for a romantic long weekend. The photos looked rustic but charming. What we got was a glorified toolshed in someone's backyard — no insulation, one sad lightbulb hanging from a wire, and a compost toilet outside. To make it worse, the host’s teenage son was having a party the entire time, so instead of peaceful nature sounds, we got drunk teens blasting bass and doing donuts on dirt bikes around the fire pit. We left after the first night and ended up spending the rest of the weekend in a sketchy motel with a hot tub that made my skin itchy. Romantic, right?

2. The Cruise From Hell (Literally)

I thought booking a luxury cruise with my in-laws would be relaxing. Day two, someone on board got food poisoning, and by day four, half the ship was vomiting. The buffet shut down, all activities were canceled, and we were told to “stay in our cabins as much as possible.” I spent my birthday watching my husband hold a plastic bag to his dad’s mouth while the ship rocked like a washing machine. We now refer to that trip as "the vomit voyage," and no one has mentioned going on another cruise since.

3. The “All-Inclusive” Scam

My best friend and I saved for months for an all-inclusive girls' trip to the Dominican Republic. When we arrived, we learned that "all-inclusive" apparently meant: no alcohol unless you paid extra, one sad buffet with reheated pasta, and zero beach access because the sand was “under construction” (???). The pool was closed for cleaning all week, and when we complained, the guy at the front desk shrugged and said, “Welcome to the Caribbean, ladies.” The only thing included was disappointment.

4. The Boyfriend Who Ghosted Me Mid-Trip

We went to Barcelona together. Three days in, I woke up and… he was just gone. No note, no text, no voicemail. I thought he’d been kidnapped. I called hospitals, I called the embassy, I panicked. Turns out, he had decided we “weren’t working out” and just left. He flew home without telling me. I only found out because his sister messaged me saying, “Sorry about my brother. That was really cold.” I spent the next four days crying in tapas bars and flying solo to the Sagrada Familia.

5. The “Family Bonding” Trip That Broke Us

My mom thought it would be a great idea to take a road trip with my siblings across the U.S. in a minivan. No one told her that four adults in a minivan for two weeks isn’t "bonding" - it's psychological warfare. We fought about where to stop, what to eat, whose turn it was to drive, and who kept farting with the windows up. On day seven, we hit a deer in Nebraska and had to spend the night in a gas station parking lot waiting for a tow. My sister still calls it “the trauma tour.”

6. The Resort With the Unexpected Roommate

Booked a resort in Mexico, all seemed fine until night one, when I went into the bathroom and found a giant iguana in the bathtub. I screamed. My partner screamed. The iguana did not scream - it just stared at us like we were the rude ones. Hotel staff said, “They come in sometimes through the vents, no big deal.” NO BIG DEAL?? We named him Larry and he hung out behind the toilet for three days. Still made us pay the “wildlife cleaning fee” on checkout.

7. The Romantic Paris Trip That Ended With a Mugging

My partner and I went to Paris for our anniversary - dreamy, right? On the second night, while walking back from dinner, someone ran up, grabbed his phone, and bolted. My partner chased the guy down an alley, tripped, and dislocated his shoulder. We spent 6 hours in a French ER surrounded by yelling and a guy in a beret with a broken nose bleeding into a baguette wrapper. The doctor kept shrugging and saying “c’est la vie.” Romantic!

8. The “Adventure Trip” That Was Basically Survival Camp

My ex and I signed up for this “eco-adventure experience” in South America. What they didn’t advertise was that we’d be hiking 12 miles a day with 40-pound packs, filtering our own water from rivers, and sleeping in tarp hammocks surrounded by screaming monkeys. At one point, we had to cross a river holding onto a frayed rope while barefoot. My ex got eaten alive by bugs and cried during breakfast. We broke up the day we got home. I don't regret the breakup, but I still have mosquito scars.

9. The Honeymoon That Got Hijacked

We were barely three hours into our honeymoon in Bali when my husband got a call that his best friend back home had been arrested. For some reason, he took that as a sign to spend the next four days obsessively texting, calling lawyers, and trying to “fix the situation.” Meanwhile, I was alone, wandering temples and trying not to cry into my mango smoothie. When I finally snapped and told him to put down the phone, he said, “I didn’t think you’d be so selfish.” We did not stay married.

10. The Flight Delay That Ruined Everything

My mom and I planned a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Japan. The night before, we got the dreaded notification: our flight was canceled and rebooked… two days later. That meant we missed our Mount Fuji hike, our cherry blossom tour, and the hot spring hotel we’d booked six months in advance. When we finally landed in Tokyo, our luggage didn’t. My mom had a meltdown in the airport bathroom while I brushed my teeth with my finger. We still had a good time, but yeah, “once-in-a-lifetime” ended up being a little too accurate.

11. The Kid-Free Vacation That Was Not Kid-Free

My partner and I specifically booked an “adults-only” resort for peace and quiet. When we arrived, we noticed... strollers. Lots of strollers. Turns out, the resort had “adjusted their policy due to seasonal demand” but didn’t bother telling anyone. Our room was right next to a family with triplets who screamed in shifts. I cried in the spa. We left early and stayed at a sad little guesthouse with ants, but at least it was silent.

12. The Time I Accidentally Joined a Cult Retreat

I signed up for what I thought was a yoga and mindfulness retreat in northern California. The brochure promised peaceful nature hikes and “spiritual community.” What I got was a group of 15 people wearing identical linen robes, chanting in a yurt, and whispering things like “The Awakening is near.” I tried to leave after the second day and they held a “letting go” circle where they all cried and begged me to reconsider. I faked food poisoning and Ubered to a nearby motel. Never again.